Some Constellation
by Fluffy Tranquil
Summary: When they were younger, Clare and Eli met out of luck when Eli's parents' band was touring the United States. Now that Eli is in town-maybe for good this time- does it mean their relationship could evolve? Rated T. RxR! I don't own Degrassi.
1. Back In The Saddle

**Mkay, I have had this idea for a while now. I was watching Wife Swap maybe a year or so ago, and there was a family who traveled and performed like some little circus thing. So I wanted to try that with Eli and Clare. Haha. I never actually started writing it until maybe this week. I decided to change it to Eli's parents being in a band that travels around the country sometimes. I think because now we know who his parents are and I think I had the original idea before we actually saw them for the first time.  
**

**By luck, I have recently been looking up more 'Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin' songs, and one happens to coincide with what I just wrote below. It's going to be the overall/general song for the story. The song title I borrowed (from the same band) for this chapter is Back In The Saddle. I'm not going to include the song, however, mainly because I'm not sure if I have heard it (or at least enough, lol.) So I can't fully tell if it deals, in some way, with this story.**

**Enjoy, please review, and any questions, just ask!**_**Song: Some Constellation by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin. (please look it up+listen!)  
**_

_Birds on a pillow  
And paper lanterns hanging  
from the ceiling  
Sticky stars aglow  
Mapping out some constellation  
And I'm tired of standing in the light  
outside her window  
For her I would row, mhm, to the ends  
of my imagination_

_Pleasure to behold_  
_A silhouette so real yet_  
_oh so static_  
_Measured and controlled_  
_Lets down her hair, takes off_  
_her army jacket_  
_And I'm trying to figure out what's_  
_right - do I stay or go?_  
_For all she doesn't know_  
_Mhm_  
_'Cuz she wishes that she still had_

_Birds on a pillow_  
_And paper lanterns hanging_  
_from the ceiling_  
_Sticky stars aglow_  
_Mapping out some constellation_  
_And I'm tired of standing in the light_  
_outside her window_  
_For her I would row, mhm, to the ends_  
_of my imagination  
_

* * *

Clare didn't expect anything memorable to happen while she was walking home from her friend's house. She especially didn't imagine that something life-changing would occur either.

But I guess that's why location is key, and it truly does go to show that one moment can change everything. But if she thought about it, what were the odds of something like that happening to a girl from Grinnell, Iowa? Then what would the proper name for that be? _Fate? Destiny? Luck?_

She wasn't sure what to call it, but she just appreciated what it had done for her. The only thing that could have made it better was if it happened earlier. But nonetheless, she was happy to see her old..."friend" and sort of _boyfriend_.

She'd met Eli when his family was touring; his parents, his uncle, and two of their friends were in a band. She was just about to leave the park when Eli came over to the swings. It didn't take too long for them to get to know each other, and even start to develop an attraction. Their _relationship_, however, lasted no more than a few days, seeing as Eli had to leave town. He'd promised her that they'd see each other one day, but neither of them thought this promise would be kept…

When she spotted him, she was speechless, so he spoke up first. "Clare, hey!"

"Oh my goodness, Eli!" She threw her arms around his neck, although it was a little difficult, because he was much taller than when she'd met him. "W-what are you doing here? Are your parents on tour again?"

He shook his head. "Actually, no. I'm here for college."

"Really?" She asked. "Wow. That must be different after having been home-schooled for your entire life."

"Yeah, definitely. Trust me, if I didn't leave now, I'd never get out of that RV." He chuckled. "I start at Grinnell in just a few weeks."

"Are you staying on campus?"

"Nah, I found this little apartment nearby, though...It's actually pretty lonely. Haha."

"Aww, I think it's adorable that you're afraid to live alone."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not afraid. It's just too…_quiet._I need to get a cat or something."

"Definitely." She smiled. "Now I want to see your apartment! Can you show it to me?"

He looked surprised. "Uh, sure."

"Great!" She took his hand. "Lead the way!"

* * *

**Kay, that's it for now. I wrote some more, but it needs some more editing! And just as a heads-up, Clare is 14 and Eli is 17, so the age difference will play a role in this story/cause some drama!**

**Please review=)**

**-Codie/Cky297.**


	2. Critical Drain

**I'd like to give shout-outs to sophiainterrupted and The Cliffhanger Girl! Thanks for reviewing, you guys! Also thank-you to anyone who subbed/favorited!**

**This chapter is called 'Critical Drain.' (It's also a song by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin.)**

* * *

No more than fifteen minutes later, Eli and Clare arrived at Eli's apartment, and Eli gave her the tour of the small living quarters.

Shortly after he'd stopped in front of the shelf of movies in the living room and began his story of how he'd acquired so many, Clare politely excused herself to the bathroom.

She promised she would try to hurry, but he brushed it off, telling her that she could take her time. She then shut and locked the door. Okay, so she didn't actually have to go to the bathroom. She was just curious as to what his bathroom looked like.

She took a quick glance around the room. Her eyes settled on the toiletry bag that sat on the floor next to the sink; it was open, signifying that he'd taken something out of it.

Few items littered the sink's counter: deodorant; a can of shaving cream; cologne; toothpaste. Out of pure curiosity, she picked up the bottle of cologne, took off the cap, and smelled it. It had a slight scent, and Clare knew she'd have to look for it later when she went back into Eli's living room…

Quickly realizing that she was taking too long, Clare placed the bottle back onto the counter and flushed the toilet. She ran the water long enough for someone to actually believe that she was washing her hands, then shut it off and opened the door.

"So," she said, sitting down on the couch.

"So…" Eli repeated, then after a few seconds, he asked, "Do you want to watch a movie or something? I don't know what's out in theaters right now, but it doesn't matter to me."

"We could just watch something here." She gestured to the huge wall that displayed at least a few hundred DVDs.

He nodded after a moment. "Okay. You can choose something if you want."

"Yay!" She jumped up and walked over to the shelf of films, her back turned to Eli.

He ran a hand through his hair, sighing, though it was almost inaudible. He wanted nothing more than an excuse to get her out of his apartment. Considering their age gap, hanging out here, especially alone, would be a little awkward. She was a freshmen mere months ago and he was about to go to college in less than a month.

"Okay, I've got it." She plopped back down on the couch, holding up a DVD case.

"No, absolutely not," he took the DVD from her. "You're not old enough for something that's rated R."

"Relax. It's just for language. I don't cuss, and I don't think some movie is going to change that."

He shook his dead, but after she rolled her eyes, he agreed. "Fine. But if you start having a potty mouth, your parents have you to blame."

She smiled, looking proud that she'd won him over.

* * *

It was nearly 4 p.m. when Eli heard Clare's soft snores. Her head was resting on his chest and her arms formed a cage around his waist.

_Oh please don't do this to me… _He loved the girl, but this relationship was practically illegal. He gently eased her off of him and grabbed a blanket to drape over her. He knew the couch would not be comfortable to sleep on, and his bed was much softer, but she would get the wrong idea.

Now his only problem would be finding something to do until she woke up. It definitely wouldn't involve being in the same room with her…

He went into his room and sat on his bed. He picked up the remote, turned on the TV, and settled on a station to watch. But even the comedy series before him could not get his mind off of the sleeping girl in the other room. Which, to be completely honest, he felt very wrong about. Okay, he was still a minor as well, but her parents would not approve of her being in the apartment of a seventeen-year-old. Especially when said seventeen-year-old is of the opposite sex. He just couldn't risk doing this… He'd allow himself to be friends with her. That's it. Anything more than that would be bad for either of them.

He sighed loudly, returning his gaze to the television.

* * *

By the time Clare woke up, it was a little after 5 o'clock. She got off of the couch and looked around the apartment for Eli. After finding him asleep in his room, she decided to leave him a message, before slipping out the door.

* * *

**Review, please! I'd like to make it to at least 5 before I update again, as I only got 2 on the last chapter :/ Come on, you know you want to! =]**


	3. My Terrible Personality

**Hello all! I'm very sorry for not updating when I planned to. I didn't want to make the chapter horrible and I also had things going on with school and such.**

**Anyway, if anyone cares, I found out (on the 16th) that I got the internship I wanted! (WOOH! Lol) I get paid 2000 dollars, which I'll use to buy a Mac, which will probably ensure quicker updates, as the computer will be mine(= So I had my fitting today at Ann Taylor. Yup, they provided the clothes:)) The downside is that I'm working Monday-Friday from June 18th-August 3rd (except for the 4thof July), but I'll work my hardest to get out some chapters for you guys!**

**Anyway, I did play on the stereotype of younger teenage girls. Lol. I gave Clare additional friends so that it makes that stereotype more noticeable and makes Clare seem young when compared to Eli. Mkay, sorry for the long author's note… I'll let you get on with the story:D**

**Chapter title: "My Terrible Personality"—Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin.**

**[Insert: this would have been posted on the 30th of May, but fanfiction deleted one of my stories for a cuss word being in the titled. -_- I have seen and reported way worse stuff than that, but have those people had their stories taken down? Sure haven't...]**

**I haven't been on lately, so that is why I am posting it now! Hopefully I'll get some reviews to help motivate me to work on my goal of 10,000 words by midnight for one of my novels!**

* * *

_Swimming? She wants to go freaking swimming? Kill me now…_

The last thing he wanted was to hang out with her while she was wearing minimal clothing. Especially in a public place. He loved this girl; he'd know that for a long time. But it would be practically illegal. He didn't even want to know what her parents would have thought about this…

And now that she'd…developed…he wasn't sure what his mind was capable of. He didn't want to think about her that way, because he knew it would lead to him acting upon his thoughts. He knew she liked him too, which meant that she'd reciprocate the feelings. That wasn't what either of them needed right now.

* * *

Clare returned to her room, bowl of popcorn in hand. She shut the door and set the snack down on the table.

Alli's face appeared from behind the cover of a magazine; she'd smelled the butter. She grabbed a handful and stuffed it into her mouth. "So," she began, the food making her voice nearly inaudible. She paused for a moment to swallow the popcorn, and then returned to speaking. "Updates." She turned to Jess.

"No change at all. Tyler still hasn't called." She frowned.

"He's a jerk," Jenna said. "Your turn, Hannah."

"Wesley and I are going on a date tomorrow night."

"Ooh, date number three already? I think I hear wedding bells." Alli chuckled. "It's better than my love life…How about you Jenna?"

"K.C. and I are great. I mean, we're past the stage where it's still new, so we don't go on dates all of the time. But at least we're not fighting." She looked at Clare.

"Okay… Maybe there is someone. Alli, do you remember Eli?"

"Yeah, you've told me about him before. He lived here for a brief time and you two dated."

"Yeah. He's, uh, I guess he's back for good."

"We need to meet him!" Jess shouted, probably a little too loud.

"Um, I don't think he wants all of you in his apartment." She laughed.

"He lives alone?"

"Yeah, he's here for college."

"Ooh, older boy, hmm? Now we have a real chance to test out our material."

"'Test out our material?'" Clare raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, they like that really grown-up stuff. All of the boys our age are way too immature for any of it."

"So," Hannah cut in. "Do you guys have any plans to get together?"

"Um, well I left him a note when I was at his apartment earlier today. I-"

"You were there alone? You will be leaving us in the dust with all of your new-found experience. Anyway, go on. What did the note say?"

"I asked if he wanted to go swimming at the park."

"That, my friend, is the next step… I have the perfect bikini." She went to her closet and pulled out a two-piece blue and green number. "My mom got it for me, but I haven't worn it yet."

She looked at the tiny scraps of fabric. _How can anyone call _that_ a bathing suit?_

* * *

_No, no, no, no, no, no._Eli was chanting this in his head as he walked to the park, which was not too far from his apartment. He didn't even know why he was agreeing to this. If he turned that corner and Clare was wearing a bikini, he'd want to die right then and there. He didn't, however, because he was sure he was still alive when his eyes came in contact with Clare's tiny swimsuit.

He took a deep breath, walking over to her.

"Hey!" She threw her arms around him in a hug, which he immediately tried to rush through. By the look on her face, he was sure she noticed this, but she didn't say a word. "Um, do you want to go swimming now?"

_Great, now you've made an idiot out of yourself. _"Sure."

* * *

**I want to get to at least 10 reviews on this! (:**

**Also, something funny I just wanted to share. I was reading a book and there was a couple that consisted of characters named Declan and Fiona… Instant creepy Degrassi twincest moment o.O**


	4. I Am Warm & Powerful

**No long, funny AN this time. Haha.**

**Shout-outs for reviewing- VannHazel, Heart of the Wind 007, KaraD1282, The Cliffhanger Girl.**

**Chapter title: "I Am Warm & Powerful." Yes, another song from Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin.**

**Now onto the story! (=**

* * *

Three hours after their little swimming rendezvous, Eli found himself _hiding _in his bathroom. After they finished swimming, he suggested that they go get some food, but Clare said that she wasn't hungry and asked if they could just hang out at his apartment instead. He couldn't even express how bad the idea was to him… But he didn't want to have to explain it to her when she asked him why they couldn't hang out there. So, like the good old Eli we know, he agreed, even if it would be tough for him to have her in his apartment again.

He looked at himself in the mirror. They were all there; all the signs. Just staring back at him and forcing him to face the truth. The first was that he _clearly_ looked older than Clare, while she would still be considered a child. Facial hair suddenly equals adulthood nowadays, despite the fact that there are 14-year-olds with mustaches… Second, his height would definitely attract some attention. She was a measly 5-foot-2-inches, while his growth spurt had launched him into the 6-foot range. Six-foot-three, to be exact. Third, although it should be at the top of the list, their ages are definitely a problem. He was almost 18, and she would not be 15 until November 30th, which left a little more than 3 months open for him to get arrested. Try explaining all of _that _to her parents.

"Shit," he muttered to himself. He had to go out there some time. He couldn't just wait until she fell asleep while watching television on his couch.

He opened the door, surprised when he saw Clare standing there.

"Oh, I was just going to ask if you were okay. You've been in there for a while."

"I'm fine."

"That's good. Listen, it's getting kinda late, so I was wondering if I could stay here tonight. I can tell my mom I'm at one of my friend's houses."

_That stupid charm…_"Sure."

"Great, thanks. I'll text my mom. Oh, and since I obviously don't have any pajamas with me, do you, maybe, have a t-shirt I could borrow?"

"Yeah. Um, you can just go get one from my room." He pointed in the direction on a door that was painted black.

"Okay, I'll be right back."

* * *

Clare opened the door to Eli's room, then pulled it shut behind her, leaving it ajar. She found his dresser and pulled open a random drawer. Discovering that it held pants, she tested a few others until she found one that housed shirts. She saw various band t-shirts, including a homemade one that sported a logo from Eli's parent's band. She chose a yellow one and changed into it. She was tempted to look around his room a little more, considering she would need to describe everything in detail to her friends when they presented her with a million questions.

_But hey, I don't kiss and tell…_

* * *

Eli was waiting on the couch, a movie already in the DVD player. He steered clear of any scary movies, so he'd have no excuse to have to be a 'hero.' A romantic comedy, ironically, would probably be one of the safest options. Even though the content matter would make his mind go crazy and would produce a billion thoughts he didn't approve of, it would keep them both laughing, hopefully. He'd rather laugh through his troubles than face them head-on.

He heard his door open, but he did not want to look in that direction.

Clare sat down on the couch next to Eli.

One glance at her made him hate the universe all over again. _Out of every single t-shirt I have, she just had to choose a short one? Although she does look good in yellow… Damn you, brain of mine! I guess I'm going to have to suffer after all…_

* * *

The movie proved to work out. That is, until the ending. Why do romantic comedies still have to have the cliché, sappy endings? Eli was sure that was what affected Clare's hormones, for she leaned over and kissed him. It took him a little while to even process what was going on. He pulled away from her, not saying anything for an extended period of time. When he finally spoke, however, he asked her, "Why do you like me?"

"What?"

"Just," he sighed. "answer the question. Please."

"Okay...I-I like you because I can be myself around you. You're really funny, and nice, and cute, and I just...I feel comfortable around you."

"But my age...I mean, after that, you're still willing to risk everything? You lied to your parents just so you could be here. I-I can't even fathom why you'd want to be with someone who—"

She put her finger to his lips. "I'm going to be 15 soon."

"Yeah, in 4 months. I'm turning 18 _next _month. I could go to jail. Trust me. Prison is not in my plans for the future. I-imagine what my parents would think."

She stood up from the couch. "I'm just gonna go."

"No," he said, grabbing her arm and tugging her back to the couch. "It's past midnight. I'll walk you home in the morning."

She took a deep breath. "Fine." She crossed her arms, sitting back down on the couch. _Oh, Alli is definitely not hearing about this. I'll get laughed at for sure…_


	5. Dead Right

**[AN from June 20th]: Hey, all! So, my day has been…kind of frustrating. I had my last day of orientation today. Then at 12, we had a luncheon. Every person in the program I am participating in got placed at a different location, and we were supposed to meet our supervisors today, who were going to take us to our work places. Any guess whose supervisor was the only one to not show up? Mhm, you guessed. Mine…**

**So another girl's supervisor offered to let me come with them for today. I think that made it a pretty okay day. So the 5 of us (the supervisor, us two interns, another lady whose title I was unsure of, and the supervisor's law clerk) went to see Edgar Allan Poe's grave before going back to the workplace. We met a bunch of people there and someone thought that the other girl and I were in college. Lol. So after about 4 hours there, with about 2-3 hours of sitting in a chair that hurt my backside, I got to go home. Mind you, my parents were already waiting at (insert my work place's name here), so I had to call them and wait for about 10 or so minutes. It's been almost 7 hours since I ate lunch, which was only a little bit of food, but I'm truly not even really hungry… It's just been hot today and a little annoying, but I got to listen in on some client calls, so I guess that part was pretty fun. I'll update you guys about my job situation if you care at all.**

**Sorry for not updating, by the way. I know it's been 10 days, but it's only Wednesday and it feels like it would be Friday or Saturday. The days are seeming long now that I have work, and when I get home, I eat, maybe get on the computer or something, but after that, I get tired.**

**This chapter is called Dead Right. (Song by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin) You should really look it up! One of the band members who sings on occasion sings this, and his voice is adorable. (:**

**[AN from June 23]: I got the job situation worked out, but my supervisor is still out of town :/ On Thursday, I got to sit in on a mediation and someone asked me what law school I go to. Ha. Still in high school, buddie. Lol. And Friday felt immensely long.**

**[AN from July 4]: First of all, Happy Independence day to you all(: (If you're American or you just appreciate the holiday. Haha) I am immensely sorry. I planned on updating much sooner, but I didn't want to rush it and make it bad. Work was also just a lot to deal with, and then my power went out since there was a storm. But I came back on, what—2 or 3 days ago?—so I thought about writing this a little more for you guys.**

**I will make sure to prioritize and squeeze some updates in! I also have new stories buzzing around in my head. One of the most recent is a reunion story similar to the 2012 television show, _My Generation_, which I LOVE=D It was taken off air 2 episodes in, so I was really bummed about that, but it was available on iTunes, so I was semi-happy again. Haha. I wrote two stories about that, so it you want to go check those out , they are called Strange Synergy and XYs and Striped Ties. Thanks!**

**Shout-out to 1D-Paynes-Girl!**

**Please proceed with reading:) Oh, wait, I didn't tell you guys that I got a computer and an office at work! :D Now you can go and read...Lol...  
**

* * *

Have you ever been in a situation that both angered you and made you want to laugh? Well, the morning after his confrontation with Clare, Eli possessed both of these emotions. Upon seeing his borrowed t-shirt folded up neatly at the end of the couch, he immediately wished that Clare had stayed until he woke up. But then he just realized that she is just that type of person: stubborn.

He knew that he should call her and make sure that he didn't upset or offend her, but considering how she just up and left, he figured that it was good if he didn't call her for a while. That could mean not speaking to her for just today or even for multiple days. Weeks if it really got that bad…

But he couldn't stand to just ignore her for that long.

* * *

"So he asked why you liked him?" Alli bit her lip.

Clare nodded. "Mhm. And then he talked about how he's older than me. But I'll turn 15 soon, and it'll be okay after that, right?"

Alli shrugged. "I mean, does he want to date you? Did he mention having any mutual feelings?"

"I g—I guess he didn't mention if he liked me or not. He was just worried about our age situation."

"Well find out if he likes you. If he doesn't, it's not like you guys can't still be friends."

"What am I supposed to do, run over to his apartment, kiss him, and then ask if he felt something?" Clare joked.

A fake smile appeared on Alli's face. "_No_, but you won't know unless you spend some more time with him. Ask if he wants to hang out tomorrow or something. Just show up unannounced, actually. If he really likes you, he probably won't mind. And if he really likes you, then he _definitely _won't mind." Alli winked.

"I can't do anything with him, Al. Not that I want to right now anyhow...And anyway, just think about it. If, by any ounce of bad luck, I got pregnant, he would probably go to jail. The legal age of consent is sixteen, right? Even if I told them it was consensual, he would apparently 'know the law.'" She sighed. "This sucks. You always hear about girls dating guys older than they are, and they talk about how heartbreaking it is to have to give them up…I'm not even with him and I love him that much."

"I thought you guys went out before."

"That was when we first met, and I don't count that as true love. I'd never experienced it before, and we were kids anyway. We hung out and went to the park or played video games. I hardly think that's the basis for two people who are dating."

"I guess I don't really know what to say to you then. Um, would it be cliché to tell you to just do what feels right?"

"Maybe. But I guess we need a little bit of that every now and then."

Shortly thereafter, the conversation was over, as Alli's father had come to pick her up. Being alone made Clare think even more. If no one else was in the room to influence her decision, she'd be able to settle on what she really wanted. Although it took her nearly the rest of the day to consider the pros and cons, she'd come to a conclusion. One she hoped she would not regret…

* * *

One again, Clare found herself at Eli's apartment at a late hour. Well, it wasn't _late _per say, but it was pretty dark outside and if she hadn't told her parents that she was going over to Alli's house, they'd be worried.

In the 40 seconds that it took Eli to answer the door, Clare was feeling oddly confident. As soon the door opened and his face appeared, she leaned in to kiss him. After she pulled away, she put her finger to his lip. "I'm going to do this in the simplest way possible. Did you like that?"

"What?"

She knew what he must be thinking. She'd been in his apartment for less than thirty seconds and already she managed to both kiss him and badger him. "The kiss. Did you enjoy it in any way?"

"Um, yeah. I guess. Why?"

"You asked me why I liked you and I wasn't entirely sure if you liked me. I mean, you knew I liked you. Don't I deserve to hear the same truth?"

"Clare, you know I like you."

"I _thought _I knew you did you did, but I wasn't entirely convinced."

He rolled his eyes and put a hand on her cheek. "Are you just doing this so you get another kiss?" She began to chuckle lightly, though this was cut short when Eli pressed his lips against hers.

* * *

There's a lot of talk about how one single moment can greatly impact your life. For both Clare and Eli, this was it. Four minutes past nine o'clock at night, right on the threshold of his apartment.

* * *

**There's your fluff, now don't hurt me! Lol. I don't really like how the story is turning out—the quality, not the content. I just feel bad for keeping you guys waiting for so long and then I feel even worse when I rush to write a chapter, making it of bad quality. But I'll try better next time! And we get to see Eli at college soon. I'm introducing a new character, or maybe a few of them. They will be Eli's new college buddies. What will they think of his relationship? Please review! :D.**


	6. Think I Wanna Die

**[Long AN from July 11th. I wish I had written this chapter that day, because it'd already be posted. Sorry for that though!]: Hey guys! I thought I'd give you this update. First, though, I'd like to share a pretty embarrassing story with you all. I felt miserable and so humiliated, so I hope you don't laugh or poke fun...**

**So, I guess I can tell you guys where I work. I work at City Hall. One of the ladies I work with told the other intern and I to email everyone to see if they needed any help with some work, so we would not be sitting around all day with nothing to do... So I didn't know that there was an email thing with Microsoft on the computer I was on. I emailed not everyone, but a bunch at a time, asking those people if they needed any help, and I told them that my office number was LL-XX. (Psh, give away my office number to all of Fanfiction/the world? Yeah right. JK:D) I did not realize, however, that it was sent to people all over the city at various offices! Someone in a response email said thousands, but I didn't even send it to HALF of the people on the list, and boy, let me tell you, it did not seem like there were that many names... Two IT guys came down and talked to me about it, and apparently I sent it to over 10 thousand people. I had to highlight a list of names and drag it down to enter in x amount at a time, but it did not even seem remotely like that many... I thought it was only a few hundred...They apparently have it under control/are under-way with it, though... I apologized a few times and said that I was told to email everyone, but I wasn't sure who to send it to. I also said that I didn't know how to work the mailing system on the computer-which was very true. I didn't even know it had a mailing thing set up... I really felt awful. I am dreading anyone who comes into my office, wondering if it's about the email mishap or just to ask me to do something for them... A few people did email me and talked about how it's unwise to do that, etc, etc, etc. But in my defense, NO ONE SHOWED ME! Someone said they hoped I knew I sent it throughout the city. I just felt like crying, literally. I am an extremely shy person, and even though that door is there and people knock before coming in, I know it cannot stand as protection from anything. There's no lock on it; no invisible force field to keep people out and to keep me inside. I'm just trying to focus on doing the work I was assigned, not very well, because I need something else to complete it. I can hear people outside my office talking and I don't want to listen and eavesdrop, but my ears pick it up and wonder if somehow I come into conversation. I know staring at the clock makes time go slower, but I just want it to be 4:30 so that I can collect my things, sneak to the bathroom, take the elevator upstairs, sign out, and go home...**

**-Codie.**

**Mkay, after that long chunk of words, we finally get to _today's _author's note! It's Saturday, the 21st! And I have a surprise for you all! So, if any of you know, I am going to be a senior this year. I chose AP English, which has a required total of 3 books that you have to read. I have completed all three, as of yesterday! That was probably why I didn't update this sooner, because I was reading, haha. They were Oedipus at Colonus, Cry, The Beloved Country, and "Master Harold" …and The Boys. I literally thought that the last one should have cost way less, as it was only 60 pages. But I was just glad two of the three were plays, so that I only had to focus on one major plot line. I have the Oedipus one down, since I read Oedipus Rex in 9th grade, and Antigone in the 10th. (I don't get why we went out of order, but whatever… lol) I have the other play in memory as well because it was not hard to remember at all. I just need to go back and color mark/add more notes to those books and finish the rest of my Calculus packet. But other than that, you will be receiving (hopefully) a lot (or a decent) amount of updates this summer!**

**But on a sidenote: I haven't seen any episodes this season yet… Direct TV needs to get it together and give us our channels back! They also need to stop being greedy like Viacom. I mean, we pay for those channels, so we should get to watch them. [Update: they were actually back last night. If they were on when this past week's episodes were re-aired/had I known, I'd have had the chance to watch them. Sadly, however, I did not.]**

**Okay, enough ranting. I shall write this chapter now.**

**I wanted to keep up the habit with Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin chapter titles. At first I couldn't find one, but I decided to switch the chapter up a little and add in a different scene. I decided on calling this _Think I Wanna Die. _Look up the song+listen!  
**

* * *

"Are you sure you have everything?" Clare asked for the third time that morning.

"Yes," Eli said, rolling his eyes. He had his first class today—an Environmental Chemistry course. "Besides, you don't really do anything on the first day. It's the same as high school. The first day is just going over the syllabus, assigning partners for that term, etcetera. Are you sure _you _have everything?"

"Mhm." She nodded.

"Um, then I'll see you later I guess." He turned to walk off in the other direction.

She pouted. "You forgot something."

He turned around and returned to where she was standing and gave her a quick kiss. "You know one of these days your parents are going to catch me."

"Then maybe we should stop meeting outside of _my _house."

"Well, if we met outside of my apartment, you'd be late for school. You're probably going to be late now, so you should start leaving."

"I'll see you tonight?" She asked.

"Yeah. Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

Let the record stand that Eli Goldsworthy _hated _Chemistry. Truth be told, he didn't like any science material he'd come across throughout his thirteen years of homeschooling. It was just that one subject that he always had trouble with. But he had requirements to fill and it's not like the other choices were that interesting either…

Even after all of that frustration, though, he came to realize that this class would not aggravate him as much as he had thought—all thanks to his partner: Gillen. He was thankful he didn't have to work with someone snobby or annoying. He'd also made his first college friend! One that he'd soon be seeing a lot of. Not in class, of course, as this was the only one they had together. But they did start to hang out outside of class pretty often. One of those times occurred at the end of the first week—a Friday. Gillen had invited Eli to a party that his brother was throwing.

But Eli ending up forgetting that he and Clare had plans that night to go to the movies.

When he noticed her number pop up on his phone, he had finally realized that he skipped out on their date. He attempted to sneak out of the party, which was unsuccessful, as he walked past Gillen on his way out. Gillen followed him outside.

"Where are you going?"

"I forgot I had a date tonight, so I need to get going. It's already late enough."

"It's only 9. Your girlfriend doesn't have a bedtime or anything, does she?" He chuckled.

"No, but she has a curfew. She's still living under her parents' roof, so they kinda set the rules."

"What year is she?"

"A sophomore."

"I know she's still living at home, but she still has a _curfew _when she's that age?"

"Mhm." Eli nodded.

"Wow. I thought college is supposed to bring a lot of freedom," Gillen said sarcastically.

"Well, she's not exactly in college," Eli mumbled.

"What was that?"

"She's not in college."

"You said she was a sophomore. Please tell me that you don't mean high school." Eli didn't respond, so he spoke again. "Well, it was nice knowing you."

"Shut up. I'm not gonna go to jail. I mean, I was totally against this idea at first, but I really like her."

"I'd like to see you try to explain that to a cop."

"Hey, I'm still 17. Yeah, I'll be 18 soon, but then I guess we'll just have to stay even more low-key than we already are.

Just as Gillen was about to speak again, Eli's phone went off again. It was Clare.

"Listen, I need to deal with something. See you on Monday?"

"Yeah."

* * *

**I got this document up at maybe 9 or 10 a.m. It's 9:25, and I have finally finished! Haha. Let's just say I listened to a lot of music today…**

**Thumbs up for Environmental Chemistry, just because my sister is taking that course in the fall. Lol. I like Chemistry, by the way, and I got an A+ in it when I took it, so if I can be of any assistance to my sister, it'd be fun! Haha. Please review=) I think the next chapter will cover Eli's 18th birthday! Plus, more Gillen. Gillen is a character in one of my novels, by the way. He is not mean, rude, etc like he may come off in this story, though.**


	7. Pangea

**You know the drill: a million apologies. I had work and summer work. I have school in five days and I still have some work to do before then, but I wanted to make sure you guys got something before then. I'm making sure I finish and post this chapter before I step away from the computer, but then I am going to finish some more work…**

**And things will get more interesting in the near future for this story…**

**Also, I have a plan to post at least 5 times during the weekend (Friday-Sunday) after the first week of school. They'll be saved for the weekend because I will most likely write them during the week. I'll have two Zig stories I'd like to get out, a new Eli story, a story for The Walking Dead that is a song fic for Glenn, and then I'll probably just update a story that I already have. If I finish my summer work earlier and write something, then I might post it at that time! If I finish a story before the first weekend after school starts, I might post before Friday! And if I write anything extra, I'll post that too!**

**Ooh, I forgot. Guess what? I won a scholarship for writing an essay about diversity. Apparently, I won 'hands down' and they said they loved my writing! :)**

**Song for this chapter: "Pangea" by Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin.**

* * *

"Eli, pick up," Clare whispered to herself. She'd been ready for nearly two hours and she still hadn't received a phone call or a text from Eli. It was his birthday and they were supposed to go out tonight. But that was not going to happen, as the movie they planned to see had started almost 50 minutes ago and the next showing would not start until 9:45. The movie would end after her curfew, and her parents definitely would not like that. She didn't even want to think about how they'd react if they found out she was dating Eli.

It wasn't until shortly after nine that she was finally able to get ahold of Eli, but when he answered, Clare could only hear the noise of partygoers, followed by the phone cutting off. She figured that his new friend Gillen, who she met once before when she came over to Eli's apartment, was responsible for this. Ever since he'd been hanging out with Gillen, he'd been going out to parties more often, missing dates, and he even told her once that he was failing two of his classes. Eli barely knew the guy, but suddenly he was spending all of his time with him. She knew she had to do something before Gillen caused Eli to spiral out of control…

* * *

When she arrived at Gillen's parent's house, the area stunk of alcohol and some other unidentifiable scent. People littered the front lawn and steps, making it hard to get inside. Surprisingly, the inside of the house was a prettier sight, but it wasn't by very much. The smell was definitely worse, but she wasn't worried about that right now. She was set on finding Eli, which would be tough if he was drinking, because the people in this room looked unrecognizable; they barely looked human to her.

After a quick search of the first floor, she decided to look outside again, silently hoping that he would be out there, rather than upstairs with some girl.

It turned out, though, that he was not with the crowd that still surrounded the front of the home. Clare was about to search inside again, but wondered if he would be in the backyard instead. The smoke coming from back there made her wonder if anyone was around that area.

After turning the corner, she saw that there in fact was a bonfire going on, hosted none other than by Gillen. Eli was sitting by his side. Clare walked over to him and grabbed him by his arm to pull him aside.

"Did you forget about tonight?" she asked him.

"W-what ab-bout it?" he slurred.

"We had plans tonight!"

"Whoa, you seem a little upset," Gillen said, walking over to Clare. "Is someone angry that their first college party wasn't fun?" He joked. He laughed a little, but then gained his composure. "Listen, _kid_, go home. Places like this can be a jungle."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. I don't think this is the place for people your age. Your maturity level just hasn't quite gotten there yet." He raised his hand to illustrate height.

Clare rolled her eyes, biting her tongue to keep her from screaming at the guy standing in front of her. She wasn't going to do anything stupid; she promised herself that. But when someone carrying some beer walked past her, she just felt that the opportunity was too good to pass up. She grabbed a cup, leaving the girl with the other, and threw it on Gillen. "Asshole," she muttered, before storming off.

Before she reached the front of the house again, someone grabbed her arm.

"Clare," Eli began. She waited for him to speak, but his current state of drunkenness apparently still had an effect on him, because he didn't continue.

"No, Eli," Clare said after a moment. "_He _needs an attitude adjustment…And I think you need to take some time away from all of this to decide who's really important to you. And that includes me. Good bye."

* * *

**Okay, so it didn't really go how I imagined it would, but review! =D**


	8. Bended

**[A/N FROM 10/14]: I will seriously try to post more often. I have just been trying to focus on my personal writing and a piece for a contest. I also have schoolwork, applications for college, letters of recommendations, clubs, etc. Oh, I don't think I mentioned this. I meant to post a chapter a while ago to mention that we had elections for Russian club and I'm the president now(: For this semester at least, so it can be fair to those who did not get a chance to be in office. My friends and I are also starting up UNICEF at our school again. I started a vegetarian club. I'm waiting for the newspaper to be up and running again. National Honor Society meetings. Stuff like that just distracts me and makes me forget that I have to write something for you guys. I really hope I can get out some chapters quicker in the near future. Or publish a book that you guys can read through without having to wait a while for new chapters.**

**Oh, btw. Does anyone watch Switched At Birth? I am fangirling over Daphne/her boss. Haha. Also: WALKING DEAD MARATHON! =D**

**I thought the song "After Afterall" by William Fitzsimmons would be good for this chapter, but I wanted to keep the SSLYBY theme/tradition and I went on my Spotify (no, they are not paying me to mention their name, haha) and looked for a song that I could use. I usually don't listen to it, but I searched for the hard-to-find lyrics, and then I decided that "Bended" would be good. Please look up both Bended and After Afterall(:**

**[A/N FROM 10/24]: I know, I know. I haven't posted yet. I wanted to surprise you guys and post a long chapter, but I didn't want to make it cheesy and rushed. Also, the SAT, National Novel Writing Month, the Scholastic Art and Writing Awards contest, and stuff for college are just some of the things coming up very soon and/or are currently occurring, so just keep that in mind!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Degrassi, the song this chapter gets its name from, Switched At Birth, etc.**

**Onward, march! (With the story, silly! :P)**

* * *

It was no big secret that Clare missed Eli. Who wouldn't miss their boyfriend after a breakup? Or in this case, a hiatus. To be honest, she found that she actually liked the alone time it gave her. She didn't have to deal with Eli's crazy schedule, Gillen, or lying to her parents.

A knock on the door interrupted Clare's thoughts. She got up to answer the door, surprised when she saw her friends staring back. She'd forgotten that they were coming over for a sleepover.

"You didn't forget, did you?" Jenna asked.

"No," Clare said, shaking her head. "Uh, come inside." She ushered her friends into the house and up to her room.

The girls set their bags down and Hannah immediately retrieved a DVD case.

"Let me see!" Alli exclaimed, taking the pouch of movies from her friend. "Definitely not," she said, pointing to one of the DVDs. "It's so _old_. And it wasn't even that good." She looked through the collection some more. "I've got it!" she cheered. She took the disc out of its place and put it into the DVD player.

The girls started to relax on and around Clare's bed, the opening of the movie automatically locking them in a trance.

* * *

On the other side of the spectrum, Eli was not feeling very positive either. His last class of the day had finished up nearly two hours ago and he still hadn't started on his assignment for next week. He would blame it on the fact that it was Friday or that he was just lazy, but he simply couldn't concentrate. He might have been drunk when Clare said that he needed some time to figure things out, but he still took in every word of it. And he knew that she was right. They haven't known each other for the longest time, but he could trust that she knew what she was talking about.

But her being mad at him wasn't what bothered him the most. He'd mostly been angered by the way _he_ was acting toward _her_. He wasn't doing it on purpose, and he definitely didn't mean to hurt her, but nonetheless, he didn't feel right about it.

What was he supposed to do, though? Just go to her house and apologize and express his innermost feelings? That may have worked in the movies, but Clare was a _real_ girl who had _real_ feelings. Her character was not written out in the span of a few days, edited three times over, and then brought to life on-screen by someone just looking to make a name for themself. _Clare _was the one living that life. It wasn't like she could step away from it all like the people on tv who only lived in its essence for a few hours a day.

That was something Eli wished he could do. If he could somehow ignore this all—at least for a little while—it would be a little easier to deal with. By then, he'd have actually had some rational thoughts. Though, with all of this trouble, he couldn't help but wonder if the relationship is even worth it. It wasn't what he wanted to think, but it was exactly how he felt. He had nothing against Clare; it was more that their _situation _was off. Her age was the first thing on the list of cons. And another thing was that he was hardly paying attention to his studies. He'd asked his parents if he could go to college in Iowa, and they very kindly agreed, so it would show them that he was not very serious about his reason for going to school there in the first place.

He could be cliché and say that the pros of their relationship greatly out-weighed the cons—though in his mind, they did—but he didn't want to be immature about this. Relationships require a lot of care, thought, and cooperation to survive. Maybe that was exactly what they needed: cooperation.

* * *

Clare had finally gotten into the movie and stared to understand what was going on when her doorbell rang.

"Want me to get the door?" Jenna offered.

"Uh, sure," Clare mumbled.

Jenna disappeared from the girls' view, the sound of her light footsteps following her departure.

The door could be heard opening and a mixture of voices carried up the stairs. Though, less than a minute later, the voices were replaced by the sound of a new arrival.

"Hey," Eli said.

"Hi," Clare responded softly.

"So…" Eli tucked his hands into the pockets of his black jacket in hopes to focus on something else other than the awkward silence in the room. He cleared his throat. "I've done a lot of thinking."

"Me too," Clare said. "And I—"

"—No, I really want to say something...I've been at home…pondering over this, for a lack of better words, and I've been trying to find a solution. First, I just wanted to apologize for being such an asshole. You know that's not me. I-I don't know what I was thinking. I fell for this amazing person and I want to do this right. I don't want to give up on us."

Before Eli could finish speaking, Clare tried to lean in to kiss him, but he backed away slightly.

"I'm sorry. I just don't want to rush into this. I think that's where we went wrong the first time. I really care about you and I don't want to make the same mistakes. This may sound crazy, and you might not understand it, but I've gathered my thoughts and I think this could work. I propose that we just go back to being friends for…a while."

"What do you mean by _a while _exactly?"

"The end of the school year would be a good start. The first semester is almost over and we've already lasted through that, and that's with the rocky beginning. It just makes sense to me that if we can stay friends for that long, then we can last even longer if we dated again."

"And you're sure you want to do this? I mean, why stick to something for that long if it won't work out?"

Eli chuckled lightly.

"What?"

"I kind of just professed my love to you and you're asking if I'm serious. If I wasn't dead serious, I definitely wouldn't be here right now."

"Okay," she said after allowing herself a few seconds to process the information she'd just received.

"Okay, what?"

"Okay, _friend_, would you like to stay and watch the movie with us?" She couldn't help but laugh at some of her friends' reactions to her inviting Eli to stay.

"Hmm, I don't know. I wouldn't want to impose on you and your lovely friends," he joked, winking at the girls and flashing a smile. He sat cross-legged on the floor next to Clare and stared at the television, though he didn't pay much attention to the movie.

* * *

A day that started out badly for the both of them had now made a sharp turn. Although it would be followed by many forks in the road, it was a road trip they were willing to take a gander on.

* * *

**I reached my 1,000 word goal! Whoo! It was part of the reason this wasn't written at an earlier time—besides the fact that Writer's Block seems to spread like the common cold and like such has no cure. But I wrote over 1,200 words, not including the uber-long author's note.**  
**Please review + fave + subscribe.**

**Also, I was thinking of changing my name—at least temporarily—just to see how it feels. I know it would be extremely annoying to remember a new name. But my sister and I were about to do something and I randomly said "Can we have code names?" I said that I wanted to be fluffy tranquil and I have no idea why… Haha. So, please ignore that fact. Um, yeah… Bye!**

**-Fluffy Tranquil.**


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